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Put a bone in your nose.
World? Meet Jonah Goldberg.
Jonah Jacob Goldberg. Born 1969. US 'conservative'. Worked at the AEI under Ben Wattenberg. Wrote 'Liberal Fascism'. Frequents Glenn Beck shows. Works for the NRO. His mother - if she's not a test tube - can be proud. Not of what he stands for but of his accomplishments.
Jonah's really Internet-savvy too. His email address is jonahscolumn@AOL.com.
Jonah's mother is Lucianne Goldberg - the same Lucianne Goldberg who advised Linda Tripp to record her conversations with Monica Lewinsky and save the dress. Jonah comes from good stock.
'My mother was the one who advised Linda Tripp to record her conversations with Monica Lewinsky and to save the dress. I was privy to some of that stuff, and when the administration set about to destroy Lewinsky, Tripp, and my mom, I defended my mom and by extension Tripp. I have zero desire to have those arguments again. I did my bit in the trenches of Clinton's trousers.'
Goldberg is a member of the USA Today board of contributors. The full title of his New York Times bestseller is 'Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning'. Note how he equates 'left' with Mussolini. Tightrope walkers aren't as deft.
Goldberg had other working titles for his book. One was:
'The Totalitarian Temptation From Hegel to Whole Foods'
Another one was:
'The Totalitarian Temptation From Mussolini to Hillary Clinton'
So now the Whole Foods people - regularly regarded as one of the most popular employers in the US - are a bunch of totalitarians and Hillary's equated with Mussolini.
The paperback edition (yes it was published) carried the subtitle:
'The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Change'
So now Barack Obama's implicated in Italian fascism as well. Jonah's the David Copperfield of political sleaze.
Jonah Goldberg is bellicose in his political meandering but doesn't attack liberals and democratic maggots on political principles - he attacks them on ethics.
Jonah Goldberg supports the righteous invasion of Iraq - even to this day when he admits it was a mistake but that it was a 'noble mistake' [sick]. He even goes so far as to defend colonialism in general. He's suggested US imperialism in the Americas can be a good thing. And as a member of the AEI he naturally subscribes to their plans for worldwide US cultural (and military) domination.
Jonah Goldberg thinks opponents of his proposals for US colonialism and worldwide imperialism have 'shabby arguments'.
'It's scarcely the same thing to put a man on the moon as to put a bone in your nose.'
Jonah Goldberg insists not all cultures are equal - and one culture is definitely more equal than the rest.
Jonah Goldberg definitely doesn't like France. He gleefully admits he's 'in the frog-bashing business', has called for 'the total destruction of France', coined the phrase 'cheese-eating surrender monkeys' to refer to the French. (The Simpsons made fun of that, shockingly enough.)
On 8 February 2005 Goldberg offered Juan Cole a $1000 bet that 1) Iraq wouldn't have a civil war; 2) would have a viable constitution; and 3) a majority of Iraqis would ultimately admit the US invasion was damned well worth it. Cole never accepted the bet. Goldberg publicly admitted that turned out to be a good thing as he'd have lost $1000.
Jonah Goldberg admits his Fox News buddies lean somewhat to the right but thinks liberals are wrong to dislike them. Jonah Goldberg is married to John Ashcroft's former chief speechwriter and senior policy advisor. Jonah Goldberg is also the author of an audacious piece being syndicated today. Brace yourselves.
'Why is Assange Still Alive?'
'I'd like to ask a simple question', begins Jonah Goldberg.
'Why isn't Julian Assange dead? Why wasn't Assange garroted in his hotel room years ago? It's a serious question. You'd think Assange, super-whistle-blower of the international left, would be a greasy stain on the Autobahn already.'
But Jonah's a reasonable man. He might have daydream delusions of grandeur about someday being able to issue assassination directives on a whim but he also lives in the real world from time to time.
'Assassinating a web guru as opposed to a terrorist is the kind of controversy no official dares invite.'
Quite. But good show anyway, Jonah Goldberg. You gave the matter due consideration. Cheers.
And now Jonah? Meet world.
The world around you, Jonah, is full of bearded terrorists and 'coffee shop dissidents' as you describe those who don't subscribe to you and your AEI. And those people might even find you revulsive.
So why are you still alive, Jonah? Remember, Jonah: those bearded terrorists and coffee shop dissidents aren't as rational as you and your friends at the AEI. They likely blame you for all the suffering and destruction in the world today. They might get too much of a buzz at a Starbucks and start hatching sinister plans.
You might be rational enough to understand assassination is not always prudent - but will they? Assange is a bit hard to find - but are you? Those bearded terrorists and coffee shop dissidents already know where you work.
Seventeenth looks a busy street, Jonah. You'd better hope they're as rational as you are.
The American Enterprise Institute is located in Washington DC on the corner of Seventeenth and M Streets NW, directly across from the National Geographic Society. Our address is 1150 Seventeenth Street NW. The general reception area is located on the eleventh floor of the AEI building. The conference center and dining room is located on the twelfth floor. Deliveries should go to the tenth floor. The closest Metrorail stations to AEI are Farragut North (L Street Exit) on the red line and Farragut West on the blue and orange lines. AEI is approximately two blocks from both locations.
If driving south to AEI from northwest Washington or Maryland, drive south on Massachusetts Avenue NW, remaining on Massachusetts Avenue after Dupont Circle. Take the second right onto Seventeenth Street NW. Immediately after the second stop light, AEI is on the right.
If driving from northern Virginia, take the Key Bridge. Take a right before the bridge ends to enter the Whitehurst Freeway. Follow the signs for K Street. Remain on K Street and turn left onto Seventeenth Street. AEI will be on the left side. Note that from 7:00 to 9:30 Seventeenth Street is a one-way street and will not be accessible from K Street. Take a left on Twentieth or Eighteenth Streets instead.
If taking Interstate 395 north, follow Route 1 and cross the Fourteenth Street Bridge. Take a left onto K Street and then a right on Seventeenth Street. Limited street parking is available. Parking garages are located in close proximity to AEI's building on Seventeenth, M, and DeSales Streets.