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Notre Frère Petard

Another freaked out fanboy poops in his panties.


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'Petard' means 'detonator' in French. Sounds way gay. So perhaps it's appropriate. But 'fucktard' would be better. In French that's 'fucktard'. In fact universally it's 'fucktard'. And Petard's a fucktard all right.

Like so many other fanboys in the wake of the MOAB, Petard is hysterical already. As a curator of the abandoned MacSlash, Petard uses the pretense of a public service announcement of the MOAB as an excuse to get up on his fanboy soapbox. Cluck cluck.

'Although this should be an interesting project, I consider the authors' behavior to be exceptionally antisocial', he begins. Whoa. 'Exceptionally antisocial'! Coming from a fanboy that's quite the mouthful.

'Telling the press a month in advance, sitting on the bugs until you have a 31 of them to make a neat stunt, then releasing them without even having told the vendor first is simple attention-whoring.'

Attention-whoring. Whoa. That's quite the broadside. Wow. Cringe. Such good vibes all the time in the MAC COMMUNITY. Must be because of all the social types there.

'There are only two possible reasons to disclose the way they've chosen: to have some unpatched holes to exploit for themselves or to get extra attention.' With analysis as astute as that, there can be no further comments. It's all already been said. Or has it?

Well Monsieur Fucktard has a bit more to say. He namely loves APE haxies and he's found a fellow fucktard who does too, and in an effort to save the good name of Apple he's promoting fixes to announced Apple bugs through the use of - you guessed it! Application enhancers!

'It looks like a cool effort and a constructive response', he writes - by which time you know what kind of discussion you're getting yourself into.

Monsieur Moron now takes time to EXPLAIN for all the other lemmings what 'full disclosure' means, and ends with these ironic words.

'I tend to notify the vendor first and will usually wait to disclose it elsewhere so long as the vendor is responsive. If I get blown off, I am unlikely to extend that vendor the same courtesy in the future.'

What's time and again so amazing about these anti-social attention-whoring fanboys is that they end up reasoning the same way as the people they attack. Both Kevin Finisterre and LMH have been submitting bug reports to Apple for YEARS - and getting blown off left and right.

Kevin's been trying to get Apple to recognise the 'input managers hole' as a serious design flaw - and getting told each time 'it works as designed'. How's that for getting blown off, M Fucktard?

OK, it's true: Apple recently changed tack on the input managers and officially recognised it as an issue - but it took YEARS, didn't it, Petard? Sorry - Fucktard? Again: how's that for getting blown off?

And don't even ask LMH what he's thinking. He's the one so fed up and disgusted with Fucktard and the fanboys - with John Gruber in particular - that he named his wireless exploit 'Daring Phucball'.

It's this amazing way fanboys can attack and then act all pretty that's so amazing. They're so proper, so well behaved, so well brought up. All full of good manners. Except no one wants to sit next to them at the dinner table. Especially the girls. Especially the hot girls.


So they go back to their rooms. And cuddle up with their computers. It's no surprise they freak out when someone attacks their precious platform.

But hey - maybe things will work out OK after all! Maybe the whole purpose of this MOAB is actually to flush Petard and his friends out of the woodwork!

It'd certainly do Apple PR a world of good.

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