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Month of Unsupported Fanboy Fixes

Presenting Landon's Losers.


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So much is fairly certain at this impasse: at the end of Tuesday 9 January the big losers of the Month of Unsupported Fanboy Fixes (MUFF) were in a lot of trouble.

When it became known they were stealing advance information from the MOAB team all the while they proclaimed it would be 'unethical' to have such information, 'MUFF' turned to - 'MUD'.

Osama bin Fuller

Time to call out the artillery. Although no one will ever prove what's behind it all, it looks extremely fishy. Instead of the media plastered with headlines of the deceitful MUFF there were suddenly 'personality pieces' pushed everywhere sporting a Landon Fuller looking, as one spectator put it, like a middle eastern jihadist. [And the simile is lost on no one.]

Apple Spin™ in action?

In a piece entitled 'Squashing bugs with an Apple fix a day', Tom Espiner of CNET/ZD [thinking of writing to him - don't bother: his mailbox doesn't exist] does the equivalent of the Playboy Interview without the full center spread. But it gets better.

For right under the header on all the articles there's a cute pic of the egregious (and toothy) Landon Fuller - with the great caption 'OPEN SOURCE DEVELOPER'.

Landon Fuller is an open source developer? Then what is this?

Puzzle Pirates and Bang! Howdy qualify as open source?


No matter: no one reading the headlines (and few millimetres below them) will know any better. And Landon himself has said he's not a security researcher. And people following the continuing story not surprisingly believe him.

Several rules of damage control from the 'think different' company marketing handbook.

  • Hardware issues are either 'cosmetic' or 'user abuse'. Period.
  • Software issues do not exist. Everything works as designed. Always.
  • No one inside or outside the company may ever question company policy.
  • By all means provide 'discussion boards' for your zealots - but:
  • If anyone posts news about an issue - DELETE THE ENTIRE THREAD.
  • Treat customers like shit. [Part of the new Steve Jobs fuck 'em policy since 1997.]
  • Deny all security issues. Use the phrase 'rock solid foundation' whenever and wherever you can.
  • Don't be afraid to use the fanboy army. They'll do anything for you.
  • When it comes to significant threats like MOAB don't be afraid to use software tools you officially condemn.
  • Start calling in favours in the media (such as here, here, here, and here) and bury the 'bad story' you don't want people to find.
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