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Jack Nicholson for President

The campaign's already underway.

Few people realise there's already a campaign underway. The Technological have the details.

That sign you saw on Oscars Sunday wasn't just a freak with a weird idea. The Technological can now reveal famed actor Jack Nicholson is planning a bid for the US presidency in 2008 - on the Republican ticket.

Billary and Obama have their work cut out for them.

Second Attempt

This will in such case be Nicholson's second attempt at politics following his earlier candidacy for governor of Texas against the current US president George W Bush. Said Nicholson at the time: 'I feel close to Texas - especially to Huston'.

Nicholson claimed he lost the race because of anonymous push pollers convincing Texans he was a lesbian. But this time he'll be working with the same people who once destroyed him.

'They don't really have a good candidate if Condi and Cheney refuse to run so it's purty natural they'd come to me', said the triple Oscar winner.

Quid pro Quo

And it wasn't easy negotiating with Hollywood either - in fact the only way was to give the moguls something back: George W Bush.

'I think I have what it takes', said the current US president. 'I've succeeded at everything I've got my hands on. I have a natural charisma in front of the television camera and I think I will have a natural charisma on the silver screen.'

Bush will replace Nicholson in Hollywood in a number of documentaries based loosely on both their careers. Amongst the slated projects:

  • Wolfowitz
  • About Shite
  • The US Attacks!
  • George W Bush: Born in a Cuckoo's Nest
  • The White House Years: As Bad As It Gets
  • On A Clear Day I Can See The Rose Garden
  • Something's Gotta Give: Getting Out of Iraq
  • Easy Rider: Laura Learns to Ride Her Tricycle
  • Delta, Echo, Iguana, X-Ray: Small Shops of Horrors
  • Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Korea, the US: Five Easy Pieces

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