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Please feel sorry for them. They deserve your sympathy and support.
Despite concerns about the extent of piracy, the movie business pulled in record revenues this summer, earning more than $4 billion in box revenues in the US alone.
Movies are magic, say the MPAA. They make us laugh and cry and teach us about love.
So begins what can only be described as a broadside against the MPAA by Ars Technica's Nate Anderson.
'Think how much more they could earn by adopting smarter business models to combat piracy in the marketplace rather than the courts', writes Anderson.
Media by Numbers
Anderson pulls stats out of a PDF by Media by Numbers. The Encino corporation collated box office results for the US for the summer officially extending from May through September.
It's been the best movie summer in three years with a projected over 600 million tickets sold despite a price hike of $0.30. And yes the past years represent a dip but there are always dips and file sharing wasn't around before to take the blame.
As You May Recall
'As you may recall', prompts Anderson, the MPAA have been obsessed with piracy for the past three years. 'To hear Hollywood tell it, piracy sapped that revenue straight out of the industry.'
'Just look at the MPAA homepage', asks Anderson, and if you have SWF on you are. 'Nearly every featured item on the home page (apart from a box allowing visitors to type in their favourite movie) concerns piracy. The three stories currently showing under 'news and issues'? They're all about piracy. The four boxes beneath the 'Magic of the Movies' picture? They're all about piracy. Parental resources? It's about - oh never mind.'
Over $4 billion will be the 2007 summer box office take, predict Media by Numbers - and that's for the US alone: international sales can more than double that figure.
Anderson's rage is well founded: the MPAA, whose despicable brainwash graphic is displayed at the top of this page, get this summer's Miserable Pinstriped Asshat Award™ for exhibiting their unique coupling of outright greed, intellectual torpescence, and irretrievable stupidity.
So must families suffer because these flabby bottomed blackguards can't be bothered to do a promille of the job of their predecessors - the ones who once helped found the motion picture industry.