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Official: Steve Jobs is an Asshole

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CUPERTINO/MOUNT DOOM (Rixstep) -- It's official: Steve Jobs is an asshole.

The announcement came earlier today in the wake of further persecution of perfectly good iPhone apps long since banned from Steve Jobs' exclusive 'walled garden'.

Nothing New?

Of course this is nothing new. Steve Jobs himself calls himself an asshole. His relatives call him an asshole. His employees call him an asshole. As in this conversation overheard the other day in Steve's Cupertino/Mount Doom cafeteria.

'So how did your meeting go yesterday?'
'Terrible. The asshole turned up and ruined it.'
'Steve Jobs turned up?'
'Yes. He's such an asshole.'
'Totally.'


Some people even go so far as to suggest Steve Jobs has a problem with his asshole. 'The way he walks', they say. 'He's got some problem with his asshole.'

Walled Garden

At issue here is the 'walled garden' the asshole Steve Jobs is building up. First he released a handset phone device with Unix underpinnings but the security of Windows - a feat in and of itself.

Then he introduced 'code signing' - which effectively gives him complete control over which software will run on HIS iPhone. This code signing is already used on Leopard but there only used to protect 'web apps' from tampering - which includes cleaning out the shit his lame programmers are too stupid to clean out themselves.

But everything's in place. And at any time Steve Jobs can clamp down and ship all his systems with a program loader that refuses to run any app not signed by Apple. In which case he's got his complete 'walled garden'.

It's already been shown Apple are lurking with a technology to shut down iPhone apps remotely - so at any time Steve Jobs can start shutting down apps HE doesn't like on YOUR handset.

And hey why stop there? If he can stop any apps he doesn't like then he can shut down your entire iPhone too, can't he? You bet he can!

And that's only the iPhone. But remember: the technology is already in place on Steve Jobs' computer systems too. So he can start building up his walled garden there too. Such as with the coming 'Snow Leopard' or at any time with an update to the current 'Leopard' system such as 10.5.6.

'Apple's Increasingly Pathological Obsession with Control'

Steve's applying the thumbscrews slowly. As if he's testing the market and the fidelity of his fanboys. First he outlawed the excellent Podcaster from his App Store and now he's harassing the app by not letting it be sold anywhere else either.

Check out this clip from rgbFilter. Hear what rgbFilter have to say about Apple and that asshole Steve Jobs.

People have been calling Steve Jobs an asshole as long as he's been alive. He dicked over his partner Steve Wozniak in their first ever joint venture and he's dicking over people to this day. You don't have to believe Steve Jobs is an asshole - he says himself he's an asshole. Just take his word for it.

Apple in general have a long sordid history of treating their 3rd party developers like shit and dicking them over anytime they want. This was only partially broken by the advent of NeXT and NeXTSTEP to Cupertino/Mount Doom. They've since dicked over Dan Watson, Arlo Rose, and Perry White to name a few.

Now they're dicking over iPhone app developers. Where's the difference?

They dicked over academia by promising open software. They dicked over the old NeXT 3rd party developers by promising cross platform support.

They to go great lengths to hide application interfaces that are open on other platforms - even Windows - in order to hold developers back. They put bloody LIMERICKS in their kernel code to beg people to run it only on their own hardware.

They dick over their shareholders by ignoring the growing frustration with Steve Jobs' 'whole banana' psychosis.

They treat people like shit and when they can't get their way they do the same thing as their asshole boss: they whine.

They're assholes.

But the problem is: they don't care. Apple know their fanboys are assholes just like they are; they might claim they're interested in the switcher market but truth be told they DEPEND on the fanboy market. The Apple fanboys buy anything Apple hurl their way. They'll queue around the corner all night long for the long awaited iTurd just because asshole Steve Jobs told them they had to have one.

Bill Gates has long said Steve Jobs' whole banana approach is stifling the free market. Bill Gates might be a classic prick but in this particular case he seems to be right. And he doesn't seem to have a problem with his asshole either.

I love my iPhone thoroughly. I'm just really starting to loathe the company behind it.
 - 'RebelScum'

Make Apple understand they're making the same mistake they made with the Mac 20 years ago. Yeah right.
 - Oded Haim Breiner

What did I pay to be able to do again? Oh right, deal with Apple's messy bureaucracy. I guess I should just write another flashlight or glowstick application to actually get published. That's the only apps Apple seem to want in the store.
 - Angelo Dinardi

How dare you criticise the lame products and policies of the company that brought the world the most successful brand for image conscious morons everywhere. You must work for Microsoft.
 - 'BillyG'

If you don't like a walled phone, don't buy one. If you're a developer and don't like Apple's policy then don't develop for the iPhone. Apple isn't taking away your freedom of choice, they're just limiting it as it relates to their products. You're perfectly free to voice your opinion with your wallet. For the record, I'm an iPhone developer. The more developers that decide they don't like Apple's policy, the better it is for me.
 - 'Dan'

Apple's approach is a good thing. While it unfortunately is using the policy to stifle some intriguing and useful products, the approval and vetting process Apple uses is ultimately to protect your phone from malware and hacking.
 - 'Kevin'

The Apple right wing will argue till their leader changes to a white turtleneck. If this was how computers worked people would flip out. Trust me. I as well as a number of people will not buy into Apple's closed system and you can all enjoy your sanctioned environment. I heard there's a church you can join in Texas - seems you have much in common.
 - 'Delusional'

See Also
Oded Haim Breiner: App Store Ban List
Angelo Dinardi: MailWrangler and the Apple App Store
PhoneNews: Apple Block Developers from Bypassing App Store
Ars Technica: Apple Block Ad Hoc Licences for App Store Reject
rgbFilter: The 'Podcaster' Lesson - Users Want More than Apple's Walled Garden Allows

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