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The Good News from Microsoft

You can't make this stuff up. You really can't. Only Auntie Beeb gets away with it.


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Auntie Beeb are out on a hot date with Microsoft again. One must seriously wonder if those boobs think about what they're writing before they publish.

Beeb tech writer Darren Waters carries this one all by himself to the goal.

'More than 97% of all e-mails sent over the net are unwanted, according to a Microsoft security report.'

By 'unwanted', a deliberately unusual word in this context, read 'unsolicited', a word often used in this context. And of course by 'unsolicited' read SPAM.

So SPAM - according to Microsoft - counts for 97% of all SMTP (electronic mail) traffic on the Internet.

Considering everybody pays for bandwidth Joe Luser's supporting over thirty times the SMTP bandwidth he needs to. And considering no IBM AIX boxes or Sun boxes or Apple boxes or Ubuntu boxes are spewing out spam; and considering the old idea with machine parks scouring the IP ranges 24/7 for open proxies is a thing of the past; then one may know for certain - and with Microsoft's acknowledgement - that Microsoft Windows and Microsoft Windows alone is spewing (barfing puking defecating hurling tossing pizzas for) 97% of the SMTP traffic on the Internet today.

Thank you, Bill.

The Good News

The good news comes via Microsoft's head of 'security and privacy' in the UK Cliff Evans.

'The good news is the majority of that never hits your inbox although some will get through.'

Cliff Evans you stupid idiot. You're either an idiot or a slick evil Gates orc. People - ordinary Internet users - are paying for that bandwidth. You know it. Shame on you.

Another Microsoft lackey Ed Gibson (relation?) says what's happening is totally natural - 'targeting the weak link that is you and me'.

It's not natural, Gibson, when your crappy software is responsible for 97% of mail traffic on the web.

97%. NINETY SEVEN PERCENT. At what point do you idiots at Microsoft think things are officially 'out of hand'?

When that figure gets above 100%?


There's been too much procrastinating and dismissive thinking on the part of Microsoft orcs. There have been fighter planes crippled, warships at sea crippled, operating theatres shut down; there have been damages for hundreds of billions of dollars; there have been apologies; but nothing changes - it only gets worse.

'With better operating systems and higher power computers it's easier to send out billions of spams.'

That's Ed from Microsoft again. You go, Ed. Good plug for your Mister Bill there, casually referring to Windows as a 'better operating system'. When in fact what we're seeing is merely the fuller potential for destructiveness of Windows that's been there all along.

Final Word

Darren Waters gets the final word. At least for this article. As the whole thing is so pathetic and so sad. Darren relays the following message from Microsoft.

'Microsoft said people should not panic about the high levels of unwanted e-mail.'

Darren? You can join your friend Spencer Kelly in the corner. Shame on your auntie again.

No Windows at the BBC

Homework assignment for Joe Lusers.

Click through to Darren's article at the Auntie Beeb news site and try to find the word 'Windows'.

See Also
Hall of Monkeys: Spencer Kelly (BBC Click)
BBC News/Microsoft Minitruth: Spam Overwhelms

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