Ronald Koven

Barnum & Bailey got nothing on this guy.

Get It Try It

PARIS (Rixstep) — Ronald Koven? The name rings a bell? No? Not even like a Pavlovian bell? No worries. Soon it will.

Ronald Koven just organised a conference in Paris about WikiLeaks. And he didn't even think to invite someone from WikiLeaks. In fact he told them they could only come to watch, not speak.

Instead he booked about every loser in the business.

Sgt Koven's Lonely Losers Band

Here are some of the 'luminaries' Koven invited to speak about WikiLeaks. Put your beer down.

• Heather Brooke. She's the keynote. She'll be talking about freedom of information, washing of feet, and 'the one that got away'. Did you put your beer down?
• David Leigh. Yes that David Leigh. David 'I have a super-secret encryption key would you like to see it' Leigh. Leigh will talk about freedom of speech in the subterranean London sewage system. Put your beer down!
• Mark Stephens. Mark will talk on freedom of speech and the escrow game. Get your seat early.
• Daniel Domscheit-Berg. No that's not true. But he was invited. But Anke wouldn't let him out of his chores. He was supposed to discuss 'destroying whistleblower documents the hard way'.

This would be infuriating if it weren't so sad - and hilarious. The egregious Ronald Koven (yes it's a person) has managed to collect the major journalism losers of the world in one of the greatest cities of the same. All they need now is a surprise visit from Carla Bruni.

Paris

The circus comes to town tomorrow, folks. The good people of Ronald Koven's spectacular show will be in the French capital for two days. Shutter your windows.

UNESCO Headquarters 7 place de Fontenoy, 75352 Paris, France

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WikiLeaks: WikiLeaks banned from UNESCO conference on WikiLeaks