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Microsoft's Golden Moments

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REDMOND (Rixstep) — Nobody could do cool like Steve and Jony. Tim and Scott aren't too bad either. Be it from Redwood City or Cupertino, it's cool.

The same can't be said for that third-rate company up the coast. Their cringeworthy bloopers over the years are myriad, too many to mention. Here are a few of their best.

A few of Microsoft's Golden Moments.

Medical Software Overrun by Microsoft Malware

From October 2012. The BBC reported that high-risk medical technology has been found to be infected by malware and that lives are at risk. The high-risk medical technology is of course running Microsoft Windows - what else?

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Microsoft's War of Words

From January 2010. France, Germany, and Australia officially warn their citizenries about Microsoft products.

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Stupid Dumb-ass Article from Microsoft on Why Macs are No Good

From August 2010. Microsoft set up a dedicated domain to explain why Windows is so freaking good. The reasons given were the mothers of all facepalms. Amongst the best were:

Macs might spoil your fun, popular games aren't available for Macs, Macs can take time to learn, the Mac mouse works differently, Macs don't work as well at school, your spreadsheets might not calculate correctly, Macs don't like to share, Macs might not like your PC stuff.

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Microsoft: The Truth and the Consequences

From March 2009. The EFF of all organisations declared Microsoft Windows and Microsoft products unfit for use.

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Microsoft's 'Operation b49'

From February 2010. Microsoft neutralise a botnet not by fixing their software but by using clout in a courtroom. Their software remains unfixable.

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Microsoft's Rustock Reward Doesn't Spin

From July 2011. Again Microsoft can't control what hackers do to their system, so they try to spin yet another epidemic by offering a huge reward. And do they ever spin.

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Microsoft: The Most Ridiculous Software Company in the World

From February 2007. Has to be seen to be believed - 'call graphs' for the open source (and industry leader) Apache web server alongside Microsoft's own buggy (and highly vulnerable) ISS (which they never needed to write but wrote anyway in an attempt to bully and corner the market). Remember that both products do the same thing: serve up web pages. Now click the link below and see how truly ridiculous Microsoft software engineers are. It's not just leaky systems - it's a mindset where nothing works right.


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EFF: 'Avoid Microsoft Products Where Possible'

From March 2009. The Electronic Frontier Foundation finally came out and warned of using Microsoft products.

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Uninstalling Microsoft

From April 2009. The worst thing that can happen to a software user is getting data locked into one single platform. The best thing that can happen to Microsoft - their express corporate strategy - is a software user getting locked into their platform. So read what happened when Microsoft engineers were baited with the right questions.

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Wsnpoem

From August 2008. What's involved in ridding oneself of yet another Microsoft infection.

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Bad News for Microsoft

From April 2009. Spam emanating from Microsoft Windows PCs counted for 97% of all email traffic on the web.

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That Mystery Man with the Camera Again

From March 2009. Microsoft have a bad habit of making pretty hapless products and possibly an even worse habit of hiring pretty hapless ad agencies. Or perhaps it's just that even the best ad agencies in the world can't do anything with a Microsoft product.

But this is one of the all-time classics. The idea - along side a campaign featuring Jerry Seinfeld that no one understood which also had Bill Gates appearing as a shoe salesman - was to give people at random $1000 cold hard cash and see what they could buy first in an Apple store and then...

Those 'random people' were found out to be actors looking for work, and the entire procedure was a setup. Nothing was real about it. And Rixstep caught the absolute proof at YouTube.

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Lauren De Long's No PC

From March 2009. Lauren De Long was one of the 'random people' Microsoft used for their ad campaign. Her entire SAG page is captured at the link below.

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CONDOLENCES, LAUREN. IT'S A MISTAKE.

From March 2009. The actual ad starring Lauren De Long run by Microsoft in an attempt to lure students to buy Windows to save cash. The campaign was very embarrassing for Microsoft. Today the YouTube clip is marked 'private' and hidden from view.

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This is not a stable situation.
 - Eric S Raymond

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