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The Mouse That Burped

Five minutes past midnight. Apologies to CC Moore and H Livingston.

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'Twas a night after Xmas
When all through the house
Not a news desk was stirring
Save one Swedish mouse

What would Per Albin, Tage Erlander, and Olof Palme do with the likes of today's Bonnier news empire?

Niklas Svensson would be writing letters to the editor for a suburban weekly, Thomas Mattsson would be sweeping alleyways, Hanne Kjöller would be back on the nightshift at the local hospital, and the Bonniers themselves would declare bankruptcy.

Those great statesmen would file a complaint against the illegal Bonnier ownership of the powerful TV4 Group. They'd then propose to the parliament that the special legislation permitting propaganda in news coverage be repealed once and forever.

The Bonniers holding court © TV4 Group

Reporter, filmmaker, and WikiLeaks associate Johannes Wahlström did a great exposé on the Bonniers for Aftonbladet. Sweden's own Noam Chomsky, Lars Schaff, reported to the real Noam on the decline of Swedish media earlier this month.

To the morning coffee I now read, among others, New York Times on the web and find it to be an enlightened and versatile paper compared to its Swedish counterpart, Dagens Nyheter. Particularly now, with the conflict in Ukraine, DN appears in comparison to be a provincial, propagandistic and warmongering rag.

The Bonniers are supposedly liberal, and their flagship Dagens Nyheter was considered to be liberal as well. 'Liberal' as in Sweden's 'liberal' party Folkpartiet (the people's party).

Folkpartiet have had legendary leaders. Such as humanist Bengt Westerberg.

But today the Swedish definition of 'liberal' is a mouse of a different colour.

Five Minutes Past Midnight

The Bonniers, perhaps in consultation with bizarre boy Wolodarski, have started sneaking in poison pen pieces at five minutes past midnight, much like Lars Schaff indicated. They did so the other day with a handful of 120-word essays by lesser-known neophytes, and here they go again, with a typically anonymous op-ed (where one can nevertheless feel the ominous shadow of the Bonniers).

What follows is a unique - even watershed - event in translation. What you will hopefully enjoy is the new patented process of double translation, whereby the original text is first translated from Duckspeak™ to Bullshit-English, then from Bullshit-English to Plain-English.

Lars Schaff was right.

1.
Duckspeak™:
Sällan blir det så uppenbart som under det gångna året: Sverige kommer inte undan världen.
Bullshit-English:
It's never been as obvious as in the past year: Sweden can't escape the world.
Plain-English:
We need to join NATO now!

2.
Duckspeak™:
Rysslands aggressiva och svårberäkneliga uppträdande ställer nya krav på vår säkerhetspolitik.
Bullshit-English:
Russia's aggressive and unfathomable behaviour puts new demands on our foreign policy.
Plain-English:
Russia isn't aggressive but we have to hold to the narrative of the US. We need to ignore the fact that they've been sending convoy after convoy of humanitarian aid and studiously resisting the temptation to react, as they know that could lead to the all-out conflict the US wants.

3.
Duckspeak™:
Protesterna på Majdan i Kiev var redan i gång när 2014 började, och ledde i februari till presidentens avgång och flykt. Majoriteten ukrainare föredrog EU:s modell framför det korrupta och auktoritära Ryssland. Men president Vladimir Putin var inte nöjd.
Bullshit-English:
The Maidan protests in Kiev were already underway at the beginning of 2014, and led in February to the departure of the president. Most Ukrainians preferred the EU model over the corrupt and authoritarian Russian one. But Putin wasn't happy.
Plain-English:
The country was indeed suffering greatly. But in a classic case of lack of coordination between the US and puppet state EU, the EU fucked up the negotiations. The elected leader had no choice under the circumstances but to seek a better deal from Russia (and he got it). He was pro-Russia anyway, but at first he gave into pressure from the Nazi warmongers and turned first west - and then the EU blew it. Very clumsily. Russia gave Ukraine what they wanted. That's when the US, with their 65 NGOs funded for over $5 billion, took over the Maidan. Things got very bloody. Russia's part in all that was zilch. No Ukrainian preferred the EU proposal over the Russian proposal: the Russian proposal gave them what they wanted, the EU proposal did not (and would have led to IMF interference with feared 'austerity measures' and a total drain on their economy by foreign bankers). And as for corruption: Putin's done more than anyone to curb it. That's why he's loved in Russia (and hated in the west: they simply can't corrupt him).

4.
Duckspeak™:
Snart vimlade Krimhalvön av 'gröna män', hemliga ryska soldater som tog kontrollen och beredde väg för annektering.
Bullshit-English:
Soon the Crimean peninsula was overrun by 'green men', secret Russian solders who took control and paved the way for annexation.
Plain-English:
Russia's always had soldiers there. Those 'secret' soldiers were never proven to be the one or the other: Crimeans organised their own self-defence forces as soon as they saw Nazis taking over in Kiev. What the Crimeans did was make sure the Nazis stayed at the border. Ask the Crimeans (something the Bonniers will never do). The Crimeans are happy for what happened.

5.
Duckspeak™:
Därefter startade Putin ett separatistuppror i östra Ukraina som han stöttar med trupper, materiel och rådgivare.
Bullshit-English:
After that, Putin started a separatist uprising in eastern Ukraine that he supported with troops, materiel, and advisors.
Plain-English:
None of the above has ever been established, but not for lack of effort on the part of the western media. Photos sent by Kiev, through the US embassy, the US Department of State, to the New York Times of Russian troop movements inside Ukraine were debunked with 24 hours. Other attempts to implicate Russia met with a similar fate. The only thing Russia could do for eastern Ukraine is to send humanitarian aid, this because the US wants Russia to react so the US can have their precious war. The locals needed no prompting - after the massacres in Odessa in May, Lugansk in June, and other places. Bestial acts befitting Kiev's 'Banderite' Nazis who've all along had the full support of the US.

6.
Duckspeak™:
Rebellerna sköt i somras ned ett malaysiskt passagerarplan.
Bullshit-English:
The rebels shot down a Malaysian passenger plane last summer.
Plain-English:
Perhaps the most criminal in this Goebbels piece. For everything today points to the clumsy goons in Kiev being behind it. The official investigation of flight MH17 has been sealed at the behest of Kiev. The ATC logs have been 'disappeared'. BBC reporters not following the official narrative have been censored, YouTube clips removed. This after the initial 'Mockingbird' onslaught.

7.
Duckspeak™:
Inbördeskriget har hittills krävt 4 700 liv.
Bullshit-English:
The civil war has so far cost 4,700 lives.
Plain-English:
At least 4,700 lives - the actual figure is undoubtedly much higher - but most of those lives have been lost by the criminal shelling and bombing of civilians by the Nazis in Kiev with direct support from the US. Kiev have since admitted deliberately targeting civilians.

8.
Duckspeak™:
Hela tiden har Kreml skamlöst ljugit om den ryska inblandningen.
Bullshit-English:
The Kremlin has shamelessly lied all along about Russian involvement.
Plain-English:
If the US could ever prove Russian involvement, they'd have the excuse for all-out war they're waiting for. The US has been jumping at opportunities to prove Russian involvement all along, and each and every time they've been debunked. The Russians aren't stupid: they know what the US has been doing.

9.
Duckspeak™:
Putin har också trappat upp sin antivästliga retorik till hysteriska höjder, och sprider myter om att USA och Nato vill förödmjuka och krossa Ryssland. Stridsflygplan skickas på provokativa uppdrag runt Östersjön.
Bullshit-English:
Putin has also escalated his anti-west rhetoric to hysterical heights, and is spreading myths about the US and NATO wanting to crush Russia. Fighter planes are sent on provocative assignments around the Baltic Sea.
Plain-English:
If there's one thing Putin isn't, it's hysterical. That's left to western leaders, western media, and the Bonniers. Several of John Kerry's blustering gaffes ('propaganda bullhorn') have become classic, as have the Houdini-like writhings of the 'State spox' Jen Psaki. Everybody wants into bed with the US, just like UK MFA William Hague when he seriously proposed storming the embassy of Ecuador, just like Carl Bildt when he interfered in the Assange case. The US play poker and their own brand of football - bluff and brute force - whilst Putin and his Russian colleagues play chess. And they're very good at chess. Putin's otherwise recently given the speech of his lifetime, hailed as the greatest political speech since Winston Churchill. Putin's anything but hysteric.

10.
Duckspeak™:
Med sitt överfall på Ukraina har Putin brutit mot den europeiska efterkrigsordning som sagt att gränser inte ändras med våld.
Bullshit-English:
With his attack on Ukraine, Putin's broken the European post-war order that said that borders can't be changed by violence.
Plain-English:
The US also made promises to Russia in this regard. Namely to not let NATO move 'one inch' further east. All the while NATO more than doubled in size, up to Russia's borders all over the place. NATO is very much an aggressor and a threat. And that's the idea. The US wanted Crimea, and they're still kicking themselves for getting outwitted by Putin, just as they still begrudge the way he stopped their invasion of Syria (through an incredible gaffe by - you guessed it - John Kerry).

11.
Duckspeak™:
Västvärldens sanktioner var nödvändiga och har fått effekt.
Bullshit-English:
The sanctions of the west were necessary and effective.
Plain-English:
Perhaps the biggest lie of them all. The sanctions were as from a petulant child, and so far they've hurt the 'allies' of the US more than anyone else. Everyone knows the US is essentially holding its infantile breath to turn blue. All the while the world suffers for the country almost singularly responsible for all the grief in the world. An empire with a military presence in over 3/4 of the nations of the planet (whilst Russia keep to two).

12.
Duckspeak™:
Men det ryska totalberoendet av olje- och gasexport gjorde höstens prisras till rena dråpslaget för landets ekonomi.
Bullshit-English:
But the total Russian dependence on oil and gas exports made the drop in prices a lethal blow for the country's economy.
Plain-English:
Talk to Russians on the street about that. No one sees any difference. Those gas and oil market trends also affect the west - in particular the Ukraine, who only thanks to the patience of Russia, can still get fuel. The Russians are playing this one humanely, the Ukrainians behave like bullies as per usual, and the US corporations wait and hope for a stability that will never come.

13.
Duckspeak™:
Presidenten är fortfarande populär.
Bullshit-English:
The president is still popular.
Plain-English:
The only true statement in this shameless mess. Yes Vladimir Putin is immensely popular. And there's a good reason: the Russians have better access to the truth, and they know what their president is really doing. So of course they applaud him. Putin just gave the best speech since Churchill's 'Iron Curtain' talk in Missouri the other week; have the Bonniers noticed?

14.
Duckspeak™:
Hans vanstyre blir dock allt tydligare, och makten vilar tungt på en kleptokratisk klick.
Bullshit-English:
His mismanagement becomes clearer, and power rests heavily on a kleptocratic trick.
Plain-English:
A great way to end a stream of rubbish. Frankly, few people would have disbelieved the Bonniers a year ago, or believed Putin or Russia, had they not had access to the real unfiltered news. But now they have. Putin rescued Russia out of the maelstrom of destruction orchestrated by the west, when life expectancy dropped to 50 and the population dwindled by ten million. This was as the US wanted: a country the size of Russia can always pose a threat. Putin put the country together. And the US hated that.

The search for the truth - in an age where we all have access to the truth - is essential, especially as our world is full of media demagogues such as the Bonniers who want to form public opinion to fit and accommodate their agendas. We can get access to the truth today, as WikiLeaks and the social media have shown us. We can share links, we can dig into sources and test them; we do a lot more fact-checking today than the abhorrent MSM, in particular the once-revered organisations run by the Bonniers.