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Oh No Mister Bill!

LONDON (Rixstep) -- Bill Gates is in London to make a special Live 8 recording with Bob Geldof, according to informed sources.

Microsoft Chief Software Architect and obscenely wealthy tycoon William H 'Mister Bill' Gates III paid a surprise visit onstage at the Live 8 concert in Hyde Park on Saturday, speaking before a crowd estimated at 200,000.

But the real reason he was in London was that he'd been asked by Live 8 promoter Bob Geldof to pair up with him to record a track for Live 8 this week. The proceeds from the sales of the recording will go to the Live 8 charity.

The song is a special rewrite by Geldof of his famous hit of July 1979, 'I Don't Like Mondays', retitled for the occasion 'I Don't Like Windows'.

This will be the first ever recording for the Chief Software Architect from Microsoft. Asked how he felt about the lyrics, which are anything but kind towards Microsoft, Gates said he was quite happy about the opportunity, and it was all in good fun - and for a good cause to boot.

'Most people don't know it, but I can in fact hold a tune.'

The preliminary lyrics sheet for 'I Don't Like Windows' follows.


I DON'T LIKE WINDOWS

The Intel chip inside this box
Gets flipped into overdrive
And there's no way it's gonna boot today
The stupid thing bellied up and died

And does anyone understand it
They said PCs were good as gold
But it keeps on crashing
Yeah it keeps on crashing
So what reasons do you need to be told

CHORUS:

Tell me why I don't like Windows
Tell me why I don't like Windows
Tell me why I don't like Windows
I wanna shoot the whole thing down

The computer screen is kept so clean
But it's got nothing more for me
And I can't say I'm shocked but my world was rocked
By all those hangs and BSODs

Trojans and viruses have us down on our knees
And it ain't so neat to admit defeat
But it's so damned ugly
Yeah it's so fuckin' ugly
So what reasons do you need you dweeb

CHORUS:

Tell me why I don't like Windows
Tell me why I don't like Windows
Tell me why I don't like Windows
I wanna shoot the whole thing down

And it's so damned hopeless
Yeah it's so damned hopeless
So what reasons do you need you dweeb

(REPEAT AND FADE)
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