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Tongue Wags Ballmer Again

People just don't understand.


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SEATTLE (Rixstep) -- MSFT Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer vowed to 'kill' Google in an expletive laced chair throwing tirade when 'distinguished engineer' Mark Lucovsky informed him he'd been hired by Google, according to court documents made public on Friday.

The episode came to light as part of an ongoing court battle between Microsoft and Google over Google's hiring of Kai-Fu Lee, formerly Microsoft's chief of operations in China.

Microsoft claim Lee is violating his contract by joining a competitor. Google claim Lee's duties are unrelated to his previous job.

The already overheated case reached a new level Friday with new allegations about Ballmer. The account, based on a meeting in November 2004, casts His Inflatedness as holding a deep grudge for Google who so far have completely foiled Microsoft's attempts to get even crumbs out of the search industry.

A Plausible Explanation?

Ballmer quickly came to his own defence. 'Mark's hard of hearing and when you always wear dark sunglasses indoors as he does you can't really see much of what's happening either', His Obeseness told reporters.

The wagger went on to explain what really happened.

Lucovsky's Misinterpretation (?)What Really Happened (!)
He threw his chair across the room.I was trying to move a chair so I could sit closer to Mark. I tripped! Ever since that monkey dance my ankle's been bad!
He said: 'Don't tell me it's Google.'I said: 'Don't tell me you got a job at Google? Wow! Way to go, Mark!'
He said: 'Fucking Eric Schmidt is a fucking pussy.'I said: 'Eric Schmidt is a buddy of mine. You'll enjoy working with him!'
He said: 'I'm going to fucking bury that guy.'I said: 'I've got to organise a birthday party for that guy.'
He said: 'I've done it before, and I will do it again.'I said: 'I've done it before, and I will do it again.' I've organised lots of birthday parties for Eric!
He said: 'I'm going to fucking kill Google.'I said: 'I'm going to call Google.' I had to call a few people who were helping with the arrangements for Eric's birthday party!
He said: 'Google is a house of cards.'I said: 'Those guys at Google sure got lots of cars!'
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