Criminology in the New Millennium

An interview with Nimrodopoulous Ridikulosonou.

Busting international crime rings is old hat to Nimrodopoulous Ridikulosonou, chief of the new cybercrime unit. His successes are by now well known to the press. Rixstep were fortunate enough to get an interview with this latter day Sherlock with his extremely busy schedule.

Q: Thank you for meeting with us, Mr Ridikulosonou. We realise you have a very busy schedule.
NR: Yes, very busy. But I have always have time for my friends in the media. Is that a cell phone you have there?

Q: Yes it is, but we had the games removed before we entered the country.
NR: Good. I will take your word for it. I will trust you.

Q: So, Mr Ridikulosonou: can you tell us anything about this drug ring you busted recently?
NR: Gladly. It is a big international drug ring that concentrated on selling drugs to our people. They used the Internet. Spam.

Q: We were under the impression that this spam typically targets households in the United States where these over the counter drugs are extremely expensive. Also, what we've seen, drugs in your country are extremely inexpensive in comparison and most anything can be bought over the counter without a prescription.
NR: You see, that is the mystery of the criminal mind. You can't always see what they're up to. I have vast experience in fighting cybercrime and I understand these things as you could never hope to.

Q: But do you actually have proof anyone was stupid enough to respond to this spam?
NR: We don't have to. Not under our law. Criminal intent, you know. Have you seen that show? I like that show.

Q: Moving on: how do you and your team conduct a typical investigation into cybercrime?
NR: We have a technique, yes. A science you may also call it. I developed it myself after years of countless successes in fighting cybercrime. It has a name in my language but in your language we would call it 'CSI'.

Q: Crime Scene Investigation? That's a good show too.
NR: No. 'CSI' stands for 'Crime Solving through Ignorance'. It does not mean that we have to be ignorant: it means we must train our minds to ignore certain things if we want to catch the victim before he gets away.

Q: What things must one ignore?
NR: Facts, for example. And common sense. If you go looking for facts, your victim will escape. It is important to jump jump jump to your conclusions as fast as possible. Otherwise you will never catch your victim.

Q: But how can you ignore the facts of a case?
NR: You just ignore them is all. You train your mind to not look at them. Concentrate on your victim instead.

Q: You keep saying 'victim' - surely you mean 'culprit'?
NR: No, I mean 'victim'. In our legal system everyone is a victim.

Q: Mr Ridikulosonou, thank you so much for your time.
NR: I'm always glad to help my friends in the media. Enjoy your stay in our lovely country.