High Priority!

Microsoft announce the release date for Windows Vista.

REDMOND (Rixstep) -- Microsoft have announced they will be releasing the final beta of their next generation operating system Windows Vista to the business world on 30 November 2006.

'Vista is in the pandora of Microsoft operating systems', say both completely independent technical journalist Rob Enderle, his lovely wife, and Microsoft's chief executive officer Steve O Ballmer - as it should be, considering the corporation have had over five years to muck it up finalise it - so if a window of opportunity should open graciously on V-Day - jump through!

Unless of course there be other items on the agenda.

Following are examples of the type of unforeseen events which might preclude partaking in the festivities on 30 November 2006.

• Your Spider-Man comic books are due back at the public library.
• The girl you broke up with last month will be getting the results of her pregnancy test.
• Your new girlfriend officially dives into the second last PMS of the year.
• There are fewer shopping days until Xmas compared with yesterday.
• You have to finish the Thanksgiving turkey before it goes bad.
• Your college buddy - the one stoned all the time on Bud and bud - comes to stay.
• Your parents married 150 years ago.
• Your parents divorced 149 years ago.
• Your sister won her rape case in court.
• A she-male you just met in a chat room asks you to take off all your clothes.
• You get a phone call.
• You don't get a phone call.
• The fire department call to say your summer cottage is burning down.
• You discover a slug climbing up your garden wall.
• It starts raining.
• It starts snowing.
• The sun comes out.
• The doorbell rings.
• The doorbell doesn't ring - it needs to be fixed.
• You left the porridge on the stove and smoke is spreading.
• There's a good commercial on the telly.
• A rerun of The Love Boat is just starting on the telly.
• Your poodle vomits all over your shag carpet.
• Your poodle starts eating your shag carpet.
• Your new girlfriend is leaving you.
• Your new girlfriend is coming back.
• Your old girlfriend is coming back.
• Mark Shuttleworth releases an update to Ubuntu.
• Apple release OS X Leopard.

But in the absence of similar demanding circumstances, do give Windows Vista high priority on 30 November 2006.