Once Upon a Time!

Being a fairy tale.

'Daddy! Tell me the story! Again! Please!'
'You really need to get your sleep, Lisa!'
'But Daddy! Just tell a little bit! Please Daddy!'
'OK, but promise you'll close your eyes!'



'Once upon a time - long long long ago - there was a computer company everyone loved called APPLE.'

'And their corporate logo was an apple!'
'And their corporate logo was an apple.'
'And they had a computer called the MACINTOSH!'
'And they had a computer called the MACINTOSH.'
'They actually had several computers called MACINTOSH!'
'Well actually they were called other things too.'
'Like what?'
'Well like iMac and PowerBook and Power Mac and Mac mini.'
'Were they good computers?'
'They were the best!
'But then something happened, didn't it?'
'That's right. Something happened!'

'What happened?'
'Apple were visited upon. A witch cast a spell on them.'
'What witch was that?'
'The WICKED WITCH OF THE NEXT!'

'She was a mean witch!'
'Actually no. She was just pissed off.'
'What did she do?'
'She put a spell on Apple.'
'What kind of spell?'
'She made sure all their computers turned to shit.'
'What happened to their computers?'

'Well first she made them melt!'
'Oh!'
'And then she made them leak GREEN SLIME!'
'Oh! Barf!'
'Yes barf! And then she made the batteries swell!'
'Oh! Was that dangerous?'
'Of course! It was very dangerous! Some of them even exploded!'

'Then she made the computers themselves turn the colour of POO!'
'Poo!'
'Yes poo!'
'I don't think I'd want one of those computers!'
'No you wouldn't! No one would!'
'Is that all she did?'
'No. She was only starting!'

'Now she made the computers MOAN and MOO and WHINE too!'
'Like ghosts!'
'Like ghosts!'
'Like Gozer the Gozerian!'
'EXACTLY like Gozer the Gozerian!'
'Weren't people frightened?'
'Of course they were frightened! But the wicked witch wasn't finished quite yet!'

'Now she made the computers give people electric shocks!'
'Oh that's cruel!'
'Yes it is! But she was really pissed off!'
'What was she pissed off about?'
'Well no one really knows.'
'They don't?'
'No not really. But some people believe the Betrayal Theory.'

'It says the little man running Apple betrayed the company and the witch is punishing him.'
'Why?'
'Supposedly so she can get him sacked so Apple can get back on track again.'
'Oh! So she's not really a bad witch after all!'
'No she's not!'
'Oh! Do you think she'll get Apple back on track, Daddy?'
'Close your eyes and get some sleep now! Morning will be here before you know it!'

'Daddy?'
'Yes?'
'Do you know what Santa is bringing me?'
'Yes I do but don't tell your mother I told you. Promise?'
'I promise!'
'So what's Santa bringing me, Daddy? You promised to tell!'
'A U2 iPod. Made in China.'