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iPhone: It Burns!

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STOCKHOLM (Rixstep) -- Emil Ahlén only had his iPhone a month when it suddenly started burning. The battery charger melted; flames started shooting up.

'Lucky for me the device was on the floor and not on the bed as it usually is. This could have ended in catastrophe', says Emil Ahlén.

Emil Ahlén bought his iPhone just over a month ago. But he wasn't a happy camper for long. A few weeks later it started burning when the battery was being charged.

Emil was wakened by the smell of smoke. The battery charger had melted and flames were shooting up.

Emil took up a towel and was able to quickly douse the fire before it spread to other objects on the floor.

Monkey in the Middle

'All week long I've tried to get support from Apple', says Emil. 'But they just send me to the carrier (Telia) who naturally send me back to Apple again. And the carrier Telia say there is nothing they can do - that I am under contract and I cannot cancel even though my iPhone is no longer usable!'

We Never Heard of Such a Thing!

Telia's crack PR department claim they've never before heard of combustible Apple devices.

'Our sales campaign has been very successful and we've had absolutely no issues whatsoever with these fantastic devices', said Telia PR rep Iréne Krohn between her teeth.

Telia recommend returning combustible Apple iPhones to the boutiques where they've been purchased if they ever melt or catch fire again.

'Just pop in and tell them your Apple iPhone's melting, catching fire. Of course they'll replace the device or fix the old one depending on the extent of the damage', says the amiable Krohn.

Surprise: 'No Comment'

Apple of Sweden were contacted for comments. Unsurprisingly they have none. They attempted instead to refer matters to their PR offices in the UK and Timbuktu. They do however wish to point out the following.

  • At Apple the customer always comes first.
  • There have been no iPhones melting or catching fire.
  • No one has any issues whatsoever with Apple's fantastic iPhone.
  • Emil Ahlén doesn't even exist. He's a figment of someone's imagination.
  • Apple PR have not refused to comment; they've not been contacted in the first place.

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