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The Day Edward Snowden Almost Came to Sweden

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DUCKPOND (Rixstep) — Something strange played out in the Swedish duckpond media yesterday evening, something as unreal as Sweden herself has become. Edward Snowden almost got an open invite to visit Sweden and pick up an offer of asylum. Almost. The story is representative of just how screwy that Scandinavian country has become.

The Greens Almost Lost

Things have been rather chaotic in the duckpond since the recent national elections. Certainly many are relieved that the oppressive years of Carl Bildt and 'Sleepbrain' Reinfeldt are over for a while. But things have been touchy. The new PM Stefan Löfven went into the campaign together with the Left Party and the Greens, all three parties standing side by side, only to toss the Left Party under the bus immediately the election results were known.

Support for the Greens was minimal, not much more than for the spurious parties in the Bildt/Reinfeldt bloc, but Löfven was adamant to form a minority government with them and them alone.

And now, as the Greens hold a national huddle to discuss new polls that show their support is waning even more, it's time for something known as the Right Livelihood Award, given this year to Edward Snowden.

The Mutt

Along comes one Valter Mutt, foreign affairs spokesperson for the Greens. Mutt suddenly declares yesterday afternoon that Sweden should offer asylum to Edward Snowden. Mutt compares Snowden to Gandhi and Mandela. He's willing to go along with the idea that Snowden's actually done something wrong, but cites the fact that both Mandela and Gandhi also stood accused - there's a greater good at stake, says Mutt.

Mutt goes on to suggest Sweden use the prime minister's private jet to fetch him in Moscow.

The Swedish government jet

Now a representative of Right Livelihood does a television interview and explains that they're not shipping the award to Edward Snowden because they believe he'll turn up in Sweden.

And suddenly there's a hysterical flurry of articles all through the duckpond.

Almost Margot

Things have been a bit icy for Snowden in the pond, what with US informer Carl Bildt running things for so long. The 'alternative peace prize' has always been awarded in the foreign affairs HQ, but when Bildt heard that this year's prize would go to Snowden, plans suddenly changed. Bildt's been fighting insight into GCHQ/NSA shenanigans in Brussels all along.

But now Bildt lost his office and one Margot Wallström's taken over.

Many people had high hopes for Margot. She traveled to Australia to hear Midnight Oil in concert; she was the first private contact for Peter Garrett on the band's first trip to Sweden; by staying in Brussels, she became the most popular politician in the country.

But that was then. Mutt said although he had the full backing of the Greens, he hadn't yet discussed the matter with new minister for foreign affairs Margot Wallström.

Almost Gone

Gone are the days of a fiercely neutral and pacifist Sweden. The Bildt years have deeply scarred and deeply corrupted the country. Not so much the little people - mostly the politicians and the media with whom they regularly fornicate.

Some heroes such as Pierre Schori remain. But the wimps and cowards dominate today.

Swedish state television correspondent Erika Bjerström is quick to point out that what Edward Snowden did was illegal - that what Snowden was doing risked lives. This was immediately backed up by a representative of the Liberal Party. Ole von Uexkull from Right Livelihood admitted that the choice of Snowden for the award was controversial - from the viewpoint of the US.

Everything was set for a face-off on the evening's Agenda on state television.

Daniel Ellsberg appeared, but so did Greens boss Gustav Fridolin.

Fridolin gave the ducks a mouthful. 'People who risk capital punishment have the right to asylum in Sweden', he tried, after clarifying that such a decision would be up to the court system - not the sitting government.

'And so I, as a cabinet minister in the current government, am not allowed to further comment in the matter.'

Fridolin wasn't finished.

'But we must remember that what Snowden did is forbidden in the US and would be forbidden in Sweden as well.'

Maria Ferm of the Greens took to Twitter at 19:35 local time to fire off two tweets in quick succession.

And finally, a spokesperson for Margot told the media that there wouldn't be an outstretched hand after all.