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I believe in Mark Shuttleworth.
It's hard to believe in anything these godless days.
I don't believe in Steve Ballmer, Bill Gates or Microsoft. It took ages to understand they were still trying to push a standalone system on the Internet and couldn't give a flying F what happened to people, instead always ready to spin off the latest catastrophes and even make more money off of them.
And I certainly don't believe in that Egyptian dweeb Steve Jobs. He double crosses people left and right and it doesn't matter how holy he makes himself look at that Stanford graduation ceremony. He really double crosses people, and he's got a wild obstinate ego and he's ruining the company he founded for the second time now.
But I believe in Mark Shuttleworth.
Mind you, I have no proof Mark Shuttleworth exists. I have never met him and only seen what are supposed to be pictures of him. I have seen supposed pictures of his trip into outer space but I've also seen the movie Capricorn One, so if you aren't going to trust me on this one, I fully understand.
Mark is supposedly from South Africa, but you can't go there to meet him and find out for yourself he truly exists. Today word has it he's in London, and you're not about to get his address from anyone in that city. And if he is there he's probably hiding behind a fence with a made up name on the gate so you won't know if you are at the right place or not.
We found out that when we went looking for Jane Asher's house near Abbey Road and Sean Connery's house on Eaton Square. Everyone tells you they're there but no one can prove it.
So I really can't prove Mark Shuttleworth exists.
But there have been signs.
Today we received a package in the post. It contained ten CDs sent to us absolutely free by a company Mark Shuttleworth supposedly owns. That was really nice.
But no, it's not absolute proof. In fact there probably is no absolute proof.
But at the end of the day it doesn't really matter all that much, for it's what Mark Shuttleworth supposedly stands for that's important. And if Mark Shuttleworth does not in fact exist, someone else can take up the mantle and pretend to be him.
What Mark Shuttleworth seems to be saying through this company that sent the CDs is the following - and I quote.
The Ubuntu Promise
* Ubuntu will always be free of charge,
including enterprise releases and security updates.
* Ubuntu comes with full commercial support from
Canonical and hundreds of companies around the world.
* Ubuntu includes the very best translations and accessibility
infrastructure that the free software community has to offer.
* Ubuntu CDs contain only free software applications; we encourage
you to use free and open source software, improve it and pass it on.
The Ubuntu Community
The Ubuntu community is what makes Ubuntu special, and we invite you
to participate in it too! Visit www.ubuntu.com/community to learn how.
Now the package itself was sent from the Netherlands; Mark Shuttleworth, if he exists, is supposedly from South Africa and currently living in London, so this package may not come from him.
What's worse, there's the name 'Marilize Coetzee' on the back of the package, and that's definitely not Mark Shuttleworth!
But it doesn't really matter. For if Mark Shuttleworth does not exist, humankind is going to be forced to invent him.