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The Night They Lost Their Cred
Stay at home. Go the other way.
Planning on a holiday in the US soon? Think again. You don't really want to do that. You don't really want to go to the US. You don't want to let anyone drag you there for all the money in the world.
The US is one of the best places in the world to get shot, mugged, ripped off, robbed - you name it. It's also one of the ugliest places. Its cities are eyesores. And its people are in a class by themselves. A very low class.
Traditionally the people of the US are never held in particularly high regard. But after 911 there was an outpouring of sympathy. Though goodness knows why.
Sympathy because the poor people in the US suddenly knew what it was like to have battlefields in their own country. After creating battlefields in other people's countries for years.
Then as most of us remember: they ruined it. They turned once again into a police force convinced they had the best lifestyle of anyone on the planet (when in fact they have the worst) and convinced everyone wants their help (when in fact everyone wants them to fuck off).
So they started invading countries again. That's the one thing they're really good at. After 'American football'. And would you believe it? All that goodwill evaporated overnight.
You can't really beat an accomplishment like that. Three thousand people gave their lives at the WTC and created all this undeserved goodwill towards the US - but the people of the US, behaving the only way they know how, were able to destroy that precious irrecoverable goodwill in no time flat.
An extraordinary achievement.
And as we all know: US presidents last four years at a time. And may only remain in office for ten years all told. Meaning it's time for that paragon of intellect known as 'W' to start packing his bags.
After collectively holding their breath for nearly eight years the people of the world are finally seeing a chance to breathe out. And naturally cast a glance at the ongoing political struggle over the vacancy.
They shouldn't have done that. No matter the number of attacks on the US the people will never change. They'll still be the same people who can't help but throw away goodwill faster than it comes their way.
They'll still disgust you.
Sixteen years ago the US president put a proposal before the US congress. For something peoples elsewhere got over forty years ago. They're still fighting about it to this day. Talk about losers.
Sixteen years ago the US president sent his wife on the road to campaign for his proposal - their proposal.
Now you must understand there are a LOT of full blown idiots in the US. Per capita there are more than anywhere else on the planet. And as noted here before: they also have more guns than anyone else. In fact they LOVE guns.
They can't get around to really enjoying sex like the rest of us (something about it in their HOLY BIBLE) but guns are cool.
And as also noted here before: when you put together the highest concentration of guns with the highest concentration of full blown idiots you get disaster.
You'd think the people in the US would want to get out of that. As in avoiding yet another school shooting disaster or whatever. Rabid former postman goes back to his former place of work and just shoots everybody. Hey that's cool. Guns are cool.
Sex is bad - if he went back and fucked his former secretary on her desk that would be AWFUL. But shoot and kill a whole mess of people? That's just an unfortunate tragedy. There's nothing we can do about it.
IT'S GOD'S WILL.
It's funny observing people from the US on holiday outside the country. Few words can adequately describe the experience. Start with 'we want your money but can't you leave now'. From the utterly horrible sound of their voices to their mannerisms, their lack of taste in clothing, their puerile pretentiousness - in the US there's more than one sucker born every minute. Or nanosecond.
And they don't realise either what wusses they are. They're always trying to act tough - but they're not. They're always trying to act suave - but they'll never be. They're always trying to 'talk big'. And for the most part people have to hold themselves for laughter. There's nothing quite like those tiny squeaky voices. You say to yourself: 'these are the people holding the planet hostage with their bombs and missiles?' Whoa. Talk about weird. It's like there are 300 million castrati over there or something.
Watching teens in the US get drunk on Friday night and try to get laid - that's funny. Oh they'll talk big about it - and once in a great while they will get lucky - if you call rolling around with one of their fat pigs 'lucky' - but they're so emotionally warped the odds are they'll never touch base with their lives.
They got the Klan too. Those good guys in the white sheets. They string up black people for being uppity. For screwing with their women. These wussy white people brought the black people over - they kidnapped them - and now they can't deal with it.
You cannot repeat cannot get close to how batshit insane they are. And remember: they got guns. LOTS of guns. It's their substitute for sex. Because their 'lord' prefers they shoot up the neighbourhood rather than make love. It says so in the bible.
So when the president's wife was to go out and talk to people about this new proposal she had to wear bulletproof clothing. There are namely so many lunatics and guns there and her husband's office got lots of calls. These idiots like to call you up and scare you before they try to shoot you.
Now there are a lot of rich people over there in the US too. And they're not stupid like the rest of them. Because they profit by the stupidity of others. 'Jesus says you're supposed to give me all your money PRAISE THE LORD.' And they give away all their money and you build yourself a nice mansion in Tinley Park. And so forth.
So when this lady came around telling people about SOCIAL EQUALITY and medical care and how it's a MORAL ISSUE - oh yeah one more thing: they hate communists. They don't rightly know what communists are but they know they hate them. You gotta shoot communists on sight. If you know how to identify them. On sight.
People living in the deserts in the southwest of the US are amongst the most insane weapons hoarders. We're talking 15-20 machine guns per household. Stuff like that. Makes you feel all warm and cozy inside.
What do they have all those weapons for? In case the Russians attack. That's not made up - that's what they say. So how are the Russians going to attack? Well with submarines. Off the coast of Los Angeles.
Oh yeah? Really? And then they're going to march hundreds and hundreds of miles through this desert just so they can fuck with you, huh?
There are people in the rust belt - Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania - who've had automatic weapons in their automobiles ever since 911. IN CASE THE ARABS ATTACK.
You can't make that shit up.
And so now they're threatening the wife of the president, and now the rich people are spreading lies about the proposal, and soon everybody thinks there's a chapter somewhere in their bible that talks about how all this was going to happen, somebody was going to come and tempt them with social equality and so forth.
You never fight a drunk and you never try to educate an idiot. Especially an idiot from the US.
Things are bad now in the US. Worse than ever before. Michael Moore's three films show that. Hillary Clinton says you won't recognise the country in fifteen years. Things are bad all right.
But maybe the people can get a new political climate going. Yeah right. The first time voters buy that. Mix in Barry Obama and the black people buy it - and they don't care what he's done or been incapable of doing - THEY WANT HIM BECAUSE HE'S BLACK. Bros before hoes, bro! He deserves your vote!
But we're not racist. Oh no. Never. If we say something about whitey it's because they got it coming to them. WE'RE ENTITLED TO IT. And it's perfectly OK to BREAK THE LAW because you can help a BLACK MAN BECOME PRESIDENT.
You can almost smell the greed and fear on them.
And now it's time to introduce the Son of Satan. His name is David Axelrod. After an early career as a journalist for a Chicago newspaper David Axelrod was long employed by the mayor's office in the same city. David was in the sanitation department. His job was to keep the image of the corrupt mayor clean. Quite the task that - and David got paid good.
Soon other people wanted David's services. Barack Obama was one of the first. David helped Barack get his 2004 US senate seat. David eliminated the competition for Barack so he wouldn't have to endure the ordeal of an ordinary campaign. David also chose to base Barack's campaign on two words: 'hope' and 'change'.
The producers of the television series 'West Wing' were in touch with David and based their Jimmy Smits character on Barack. Then David went east to help Deval Patrick. And again he used but two words.
The reason you use only two words: people are stupid. Also: you don't commit on any policies. If you commit you will alienate the voters who are against your policies.
You have to run your campaign on hope alone - hope of getting out of the shit you're in. Except you're never going to get out - not that way - and everybody knows it but you.
And to be a good campaigner - at least in the US - you have to be ready to POUNCE at a moment's notice. Never miss a chance to smear your opponent, confuse your opponent, sabotage your opponent's campaign.
Although in other countries people actually have debates they don't do that in the US. This time around there's been only one candidate of late who likes to debate.
So it's all image - and the campaign manager's experts who sit day and night and pour over the news, trying to find something to attack the opponent with.
Tonight they found a good one. Speaking to journalists in South Dakota Hillary Clinton mentioned the assassination of Robert Kennedy. David Axelrod saw the opening and pounced. In no time his accomplices in the media were spinning it: Hillary Clinton was calling for the assassination of Barack Obama.
Next he got it into the blogosphere. In no time Digg had over 3000 diggs on an article at the New York Post Axelrod had helped plant. The illiterate crowd online were going nuts.
There's something very wrong with the people of the US. This is not something that can be cured overnight. Or even in a century. George Carlin may think the worst of it can be eradicated in a mere two years if you scrap religion but George Carlin is an optimist. Count on a cool hundred. At least.
Eight years ago the people of the US had cred. That was unbelievable. It was almost as if they had somehow joined the community of nations, of peoples. And they'd been accepted as members by virtue of the sacrifices those three thousand made on 11 September 2001.
But that's all gone now. That's long gone. And the HOPE for CHANGE peoples of the world tried to entertain once again were dashed tonight and will most likely never recover.
The Internet is going to destroy the US tourist industry. All people have to do is go to Digg, to YouTube, to DailyKos, and watch how the people of the US behave. How illiterate, how uneducated, how vitriolic, how sexually and emotionally warped they are, how dangerous they are, how stupid they are - no one wants to walk down a street and meet people like that.
Then they'll catch photos of their big cities; and read the crime statistics; and it's a deal breaker.