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Apple Can Cancel

They won't but they could - it's already 'game over'.


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Apple can cancel. They can cancel their upcoming special event where a tablet device is rumoured to be unveiled for the first time. Fanboys on both sides of the aisles are screaming bloody murder but it doesn't matter. This isn't about who's better. This is about Microsoft having categorically lost it.

'Microsoft are so 2009', wrote a mainstream journalist the other day. Placing Microsoft in 2009 rather than ten years earlier is an act of kindness.

The last thing the world wants is another presentation by Steve Ballmer. The last thing the world wants is another collaboration between HP and Microsoft. The last thing the world needs is another device running Windows.

Las Vegas 27 Years Ago

October 1983, almost 27 years ago: Bill Gates sees VisiCorp unveil a GUI for the IBM PC at Comdex and totally loses it. He spends the next two years and two months bullshitting the media and calls in his old Harvard buddy Steve Ballmer to assist in the bullshitting. The result of course was Windows 1 - an abortive product if there ever was one.

27 years later the world has seen that Windows take over the world and ruin it. Microsoft have an exclusive licence on almost every serious computer vulnerability on the Internet today - they have hundreds of thousands of them. Rather than risk losing their third party support, they continue to support a standalone system that was never meant to be connected anywhere. They continue to bullshit the world too - bullshit is cheaper than a complete system overhaul. Users suffer really bad but who cares about them?

There's nothing charismatic or even remotely appealing about Steve Ballmer. He should be locked up in a basement flat somewhere and only visited at mealtimes. He's the enthusiast to Bill Gates's visionary, he's wont to say, but no one wants his so-called enthusiasm. Even the Corleones don't consider such desperate tactics.

Microsoft unveiling an HP tablet is about as pathetic as it can get. It's worse than the Seinfeld ads. It's worse than the CP+B Lauren De Long fiasco. It's about worse than almost anything. It's always sad to witness the demise of a loser, no matter how much that loser is hated.

The Stir - I

But war cries are being heard. First from AppleInsider, what people in the PC world might call a 'fanboy' site.

History will show this for what it is... a desperate move by a floundering company. It is almost as if they want to be accused of copying Apple.

I have to say, this is sad. I guess all those courier fans on the other thread have to fess up. Microsoft blew it. Bye-bye, so-called 'new, innovative Microsoft'

The 'preemptive strike' against the Apple tablet turned out to be a preemptive dud. And instead of stealing Apple's thunder, the Windows slate actually helped by lowering the bar for the Apple tablet. It also confirms that the Courier was just what critics said it was - vaporware. Another brilliant tactical move by Mr Ballmer.

This was the dullest keynote i have ever seen. It showed that they are out of steam.


Steve Ballmer and the HP tablet are so embarrassingly bad they cause an immediate run on MSFT and HP stock, according to BusinessWeek.

So so tragic, for so many reasons.

They've been on a steady downward slide since messing up Longhorn in 2004. But in terms of attitude, philosophy, and progressive thinking, they've been on a slide since 98 or 99.

Flawless. The Lean, Mean Launchin' Machine does it again!

Over the past few years MS have seemed like a doll that's lost its stuffing. This confirms it.

Yawnfest as usual. Someone forgot to provide Fester with some content to go along with all that filler. The amount of nothingness they have to show for all their billions of dollars and 93,000 employees astounds even us. Microsoft are a company bereft of interesting ideas coasting on past intellectual property thefts and the benefits of largely unpunished monopoly abuse that's headed by a clueless buffoon who once got a very fortunate dorm assignment. The good news is, of course, that The Dark Ages of Personal Computing are rapidly coming to a close. Enjoy the renaissance!

Why would anyone want this?

So they make a slate pc and all they can show on it is kindle software. Haha is all I say to that.

A whole lotta nothing.

And the amazing thing about these comments and others is that they're not biased, they're not 'fanboy'. They're just gut reactions to what has to be one of the most lacklustre product presentations of all time, coincidentally by one of the most unpopular corporate leaders of all time.

The Stir - II

Now from PC World - where you can (and will) get what you're were supposed to get (but didn't get) on the other side of the fence. Here they attack their own reporter!

Sounds pretty impressive to me. But you didn't provide any specs, so how can we really judge?

Another stupid antimicrosoft article from stupid Daniel Ionescu

so the 'apple tablet' which is still a rumor is better simply becuase it will be from apple. nice article. NOT.

lollllll Antimicrosoft article srry for u Daniel Ionescu

Overhyped tablets? can you say Apple? Apple is overhype epitomized. Hey guys, there are already Apple magazines out there, yours is called PC World. Forget your roots AND readers?

the specs on the apple tablet are unknown, so why would you even write an article comparing a non-existant [sic] product to one that actually exists?

This is a poorly written article as it did not explain why the Tablet [sic] was a big disappointment or what was the expectation for the new product. Apple's tablet, from what I read, is only going to be one screen so why bring that up? There where [sic] no specs or feature list given at all just a reference to a kindle like product running Windows 7. Windows 7 is a good operating system [sic] and if I had one of these tablets I would no doubt put kindle on it and start reading more books.

From this article, I fail to understand the writers 'disappointment' aside from an apparent bias against Microsoft.'...almost as portable as a phone and that's as powerful as a PC running Windows 7...' sounds about as good as any smoke and mirrors product from Apple.

The cool trick that Apple has pulled off is a sort of hype without hype. All they have to do is leak a rumor, or for that matter allow rumors, and sit back and let 1000's of pre-disposed ardent admirers of anything with the Apple logo do the hyping for them. I've seen articles where the writer gushes at all the possibilities that COULD be on the new tablet. So of course we'll see, but isn't there any 'who cares' out there? Tablets sound interesting, if not very useful, but they won't walk the dog or do the dishes or create world peace.

The quality of journalism in this article is rock-bottom: aside from the bias and anti-Microsoft angle, there is absolutely zero information for readers here.

And then there's a single dissenting vote.

Anything involving windows or Microsoft is poison. This company is for losers only.

What's characteristic of the 'Microsoft fanboy' comments is that none of them address the device or the company or the CEO themselves - it's of no relevance to discuss the article - the issue is the tablet and there's ample information all over the place about it. Yet these 'Microsoft fanboys' are only pissed that their great fearless leader at PC World didn't lie a bit to please them.

The tables seem to have turned. Apple fanboys chill out and Microsoft fanboys are suddenly terrified the sky is falling.

'We're Mac and Unix users and Windows was absolutely not our idea.'

See Also
CRN: Microsoft HP Tablet PC Draws Apple Fanboy Ire
Why the Microsoft-HP Tablet Is a Big Disappointment
AppleInsider Forums: CES: Microsoft, HP introduce touchscreen slate PC
Cult of Mac: Rumor: Apple employee says Tablet UI has steep learning curve

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