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500,000 Viruses!

This puts things in a whole new perspective.

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Teh BBC are reporting that teh Austrian firm AV Comparatives are reporting that M$ antivirus products are teh suck.

This is no news. What is news is that AV Comparatives unleashed a total of 500,000 viruses on teh Microsoft and other antivirus products.

Now the Apple 'Get a Mac' ads claimed there were only 114,000 Microsoft viruses in the wild; this puts things in a whole new perspective - on a whole new order of magnitude.

In particular it means statistics previously published by The Technological have to be revised.

  • The '0.6143232 Hours of Windows Bugs' is now '0.1400657 Hours of Windows Bugs'.
  • The average number of Windows viruses per month is no longer 448.8189 - it's 1968.504.
  • That's 64.66562 viruses per day and 2.694401 viruses per hour. For 254 months straight.
  • If you update your antivirus definitions before you go to bed and sleep eight hours there are going to be over twenty (21.55521) new viruses waiting for you when you wake up - every day.
  • If you and your partner take a 22.2684 minute quickie there will be a new virus waiting for you when you're finished.
  • If it takes you 45 (44.5368) minutes to commute to work and home each day there will be four new viruses in that time.
  • If you listen to the full length version of 'November Rain' by Guns 'N Roses 2.48809 times there will be a new virus ready to attack your Windows computer when you return to it.
  • A full month of Windows bugs takes place not in 31 days but in 11.50534 hours.
  • Actually it's not a month of Windows bugs anyway - it's a month of Windows viruses.
  • The reason Bill Gates left so abruptly on The Daily Show was that otherwise there would have been a new Windows virus ready to attack while he was still sitting there.

What's even worse is that only Microsoft failed the test - for the second time running. Two of the competitors got 'passing grades' and the other fourteen were 'excellent'. Only Microsoft failed - at protecting their own system from their own viruses.

And they didn't even write that software either - it's one of their 'de novo innovations': they bought it. And at the time it was a really good product too.

And then they improved it.

See Also
AV Comparatives: Antivirus Test (PDF)
BBC News: Microsoft fail second virus test
The Technological: 0.6143232 Hours of Windows Bugs
The Technological: Microsoft: The Most Ridiculous Software Company in the World

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