Research Proves Brains of Windows Lusers Smaller

At last it's been scientifically proven.

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GENEVA SWITZERLAND (Rixstep) -- A research project carried out by the Geneva Laboratory of Generic Genetics in Geneva Switzerland shows unequivocally that the brains of users of Microsoft Windows are demonstrably smaller than brains from users of other safer and more secure platforms.

'This isn't putting the chicken before the egg', cautions GLGGG research assistant Niemals Fenster. 'We don't think Windows makes their brains smaller, although it can hardly help their intelligence either. Our conclusion is that people who are genetically more stupid than others end up choosing Windows - out of their own stupidity that is.'

From the left: Unix user brain, Windows user brain, MCP brain, Ira Winkler.

Fenster and his team measured the sizes of the brains of 473 computer users. 399 were Windows users (whereof 175 had AOL accounts). The remainder used some form of Unix such as Mac OS X or Ubuntu.

'Next worst of all were the Microsoft Certified Professionals', Fenster reported. 'And then of course this Ira chap - his brain is really difficult to locate.'

The GLGGG also gave the study participants a rudimentary intelligence test. 'We're collating the results now and should be able to publish them by next week', reported Fenster. 'They seem to corroborate our findings.'

Asked what type of computers are used at GLGGG, Fenster verily beamed. 'Oh we're all Unix people here', he said. 'Most of us run MacBook Pros and our network is Linux with Apache.'

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Learning Curve: Life Without Windows™