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Come for the NeXT, leave for the Apple

Apple: what they can't accomplish on their own, they can always rely on their community to help with.

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JONESTOWN (Rixstep) — 'Apple Mac again leads in personal computer customer satisfaction', blares the headline at MDN.


'Apple's Mac once again leads in personal computer customer satisfaction', reports MDN. Of course! But it can't be down to the hardware. Macs use paraplegic Intel CPUs and have done so for quite some time, having said goodbye to the superior PowerPC CPUs from IBM, this because they (Apple) couldn't sell enough with their insane market strategy - you know, the one that Bill Gates said would keep them 'doomed to the margins'. All those machines are assembled in the Far East anyway, so the one's as good as the other.

So could it be down to the software onboard? Could it?

The report they cite from 'ACSI' yields this.

  • Desktop computer users remain more satisfied than both laptop and tablet users
  • Satisfaction with laptops is at 77%
  • Satisfaction with tablets is at 78%

'Part of the PC sales revival stems from users upgrading older machines', says David VanAmburg of the ACSI. 'As customers' use of PCs increases, they're likely to be even more critical of their devices.'

Well yeah, pardner.

The 'head and shoulders' position of Apple is slight to say the least, which of course doesn't give MDN reason to pause.

82% Apple
81% Samsung
78% Acer/Amazon
77% ASUS/HP/Dell
76% Lenovo
75% Toshiba (Sharp)

And Toshiba (Sharp) is the lowest in the market. Meaning that at least three quarters of PC users are happy campers.

Here Comes MDN

'People who use Samsung PCs and tablets have no idea what the Mac or iPad is (or they'd own them) and therefore have no basis for comparison.'

This is patently untrue. It assumes they don't have friends or acquaintances who have a Mac. Given the relative prevalence of Macs today, this is highly unlikely.

A great many PC users prefer Windows at least for the games. Some of them prefer Windows because they're pretty vacant. Others use them because their clients use them. And so forth.

PC users also choose to wipe Windows clean and install a FreeBSD or Linux. IBM employees used to get this done for them through their purchasing departments. IBM risked losing their lucrative OEM agreement if they didn't ship with Windows.

MDN again. So enervating.

'If these hapless Samsung sufferers actually tried and used a Mac and/or iPad, Samsung's PC and tablet scores would rapidly descend to PC industry average mediocrity where they belong.'

(Yes, someone actually wrote that in the MSM - or close to it. And they wonder why their revenues are flagging.)

Let's ignore the fact, for the moment, that something or someone has to be a bit twisted here, because ACSI reported that all PC users were largely happy campers, and only paper-thin differences exist between the brands.

There's more.

'Anybody who thinks a PC from a South Korean dishwasher maker is neck and neck with a Mac or a Samdung [sic] tablet is tied with iPad, has no earthly idea what they're talking about; they think they're 'satisfied', but they're really just morbidly unaware.'

Whoah. The kind of talk got your mouth washed out with Lysol in Kindergarten. But it's the hallmark of the Apple fanboy.

(And of course they end with an advert for the ultimate rip-off Cocktail.)

Talk about old laces.

Let's go a bit deeper. What exactly would a Samsung PC user encounter on a Mac? Let's be generous!

  • The walled garden. The Samsung user could no longer get software from just about anywhere. The Samsung user would be limited to Apple's dreaded App Store which has a few major league titles and then useless powerless apps from indy developers that play along with the Apple nannies and make their apps powerless. The list of fully legitimate Unix things you can't do in Apple's App Store is short and unsweet. No serious Unix developer tolerates such an environment.

  • The lock-in. That door opens easily enough, but only from the outside. Users outside Apple's 'iron curtain' know what happens if they venture inside. No more choices. Like voting in an election in the GDR. You get one candidate/product. You vote and cheer on the candidate/product - or else. And if something goes wrong? (For it will.) Then you're the bad one, no one else. You're stuck. You have no exit. Corporate execs don't like that.

  • Continual snags getting software updates. Updates from indy developers require Apple's approval. It doesn't matter if the update is a crucial bug fix: Apple has to approve. And this is highly arbitrary. Add to that the fact that developers have to pay Apple $100 up front for the privilege of being abused and you see the problem: if payment of that fee is lacking, Apple can and do use their kill switch. Your own software has to be approved in realtime by Apple or it won't run. If they decide they want to stop a vendor, for any reason, they will, and suddenly that great app for which you paid 30% too much (money that went straight to Apple) won't run after all.

  • The 'Mac community'. The Samsung user should already know. They're toxic in there. They feed on human flesh. Don't believe us? Read the above MDN quotes again. In 2005 we sent out a newsletter to our subscribers, encouraging them to recommend the Mac to their friends, but we also cited the 'Mac community' as something switchers should be aware of and prepared for. A small group of fanboys on our mailing list began email-flooding our Internet provider in an attempt to get us shut down. This has also been known to happen to people at their place of work. Several people have lost their jobs for criticising Apple. The similarity to the suicide cult of Jonestown is not lost.

  • Dongle Mania. Apple hardware is not the best anymore. It used to be rather good, but quality has declined considerably. The lack of ports, the incessantly broken keyboards, the obnoxious Touch Bar... These are not things that Samsung users will appreciate. Then there's the outrageous price tag. And we personally have had too many Apple hardware fails right out of the box. We never had a fail on the Windows side. Not once.

  • The Attribute Terror. Apple go about stamping the Samsung user's files with supercilious rubbish. They do this in the form of so-called 'extended attributes'. Those extended attributes are the whores of the industry, so irrelevant that the super-secure OpenBSD decided long ago they wouldn't be needed. And they're not. Apple plaster this shite on each and every file. Nine out of ten of them do nothing but keep a few programmers off the chow line. The rest - the 'quarantine' one - is the way Apple force your software into a 'quarantine' - their own quarantine. And suddenly there are things you can't do with your own software, places you can't save your own files, and so forth. It's bloody ridiculous, but you'll never hear a fanboy complain - they know what happens to them if they do - Mother Superior can jump the gun and take away their warm and Happy Mac.

  • The humiliation. The humiliation for the Samsung user of knowing, deep down inside, that he's now a pathetic wuss because he puts up with all of that, and pays for the privilege - and furthermore, that everybody in the world knows it too and they're all laughing at him. Apple and Apple fanboys are creepy.

At the end of the day, the Samsung user is more likely to tell the truth in a survey. The Mac user is too well trained to open his mouth. You daren't criticise Apple. Apple are the underdog. You're undermining their best interests. You're hurting poor Apple.

To see what utter suicidal maniacs they are at MDN, real the actual ACSI report here.


Quite a different tone. Almost grownup, what?

Just take the headers in the real report.

'Samsung gains ground on Apple in the PC market'
'Microsoft regains footing among software manufacturers'

Is that the impression you got when reading the piece from MDN?

Rixstep to the Mac - we came for the NeXT, we're leaving for the Apple, the most reprehensible IT community in the world.

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