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OS X x86 FAQ

My sandals are soggy.
 - J Caesar

Alea iacta est: OS X for Intel has been uploaded to BitTorrent and the haX0r5 of the world have cracked the mighty Infineon chip - and now everyone is running OS X on their Wintel boxes. Some even succeeded with a dual boot.

The questions keep coming in. And to avert more electronic turbulence, herewith an OS X x86 FAQ representing newcomers' most frequently asked questions.

[Note: this is a list of questions - not answers. Ed.]

Q: How can I shut the computer down without a Start button?

Q: How do I move the Trash can to the upper left where it belongs?

Q: Where's my Programs menu?

Q: Where's 'Program Files'? WHERE ARE ALL MY PROGRAMS?

Q: Why doesn't Ctrl-Alt-Delete bring up the task manager?

Q: What's this bit with a menu bar at the top? That's tacky!

Q: Have Lavasoft announced a version of Ad-Aware for OS X?

Q: Can I still use Shields Up to check my ports?

Q: What's the best anti-virus utility for OS X?

Q: I stick in my pirated CDs but I don't see their drive letters come up in Finder. How do I access them?

Q: How do I use my floppy diskettes? I insert one and nothing happens.

Q: hey man i need a crack for illustrator thx a lot man

Q: I think my machine has been infected. Do I do a wipe and reinstall?

Q: What's the equivalent of Notepad? Of WordPad? Of MSPaint?

Q: I can't find Minesweeper.

Q: What are all these files in /dev?

Q: What's the tilde? What's a home directory?

Q: 'drwxrwxrwx' - what kind of gibberish is that?

Q: Where is 'Help - About'?

Q: I'm trying to get the documentation to come up. I keep hitting F1 and nothing happens. What am I doing wrong?

Q: How can I get back my white arrow cursor?

Q: These fonts are too big. How do I make them smaller?

Q: Is Chess.app a copy of the Microsoft game?

Q: My Windows tools won't run. I copied them in and even went to a Terminal command prompt but it keeps saying 'access denied'. What am I doing wrong?

Q: What's 'chmod'? What is 'ls'?

Q: What's a shell?

Q: How come I can't go into some directories? How come some are listed from the command line but not visible in Finder?

Q: This Happy Mac icon has whiskers. Are they going to change that?

Q: hey man give me some code I want to hack OS X thx a lot man

Q: Can I get Microsoft Classic Board Games to run under OS X?

Q: Who is Steve Jobs?

Q: What's with the Roman numeral?

Q: Vista's going to beat the pants off Tiger. Already in beta it's far superior.

Q: The 'minimise' button on the title bar closes windows instead. Do I need to reinstall?

Q: I click the 'close' button on the title bar and the windows jump around. Do I need to reinstall?

Q: How come I can't restore my Trash to original locations?

Q: I think Outlook Express is better than Apple Mail. I think I'll probably get a lot of viruses with Apple Mail.

Q: hey man can u make me a cd with osx86 and send it to me thx a lot man

Q: Can you recommend a good Registry cleaner?

Q: Can you recommend a good memory optimizer?

Q: hey man i need a shredder man somebody had this boxen before me there's pr0n all over it thx a lot man

Q: being attacked it wont stop i have important fbi files pls help

Q: I prefer the Windows interface. It's more intuitive.

Q: What's the download URL?

Q: Will OS X run on my Gateway? I don't have an Infinity chip.

Q: hey man where can i get a cinema display cheap thx a lot man

Q: How do you play this game Flurry?

Q: I think this OS X is pretty cool. Where do I download the rest of it?

Q: hey man help me import my hp ipod collection thx a lot man

Q: I think Steve Jobs is ruining the US economy. The world needs Bill Gates. Bill Gates is for peace. He gives money to charities.

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